Beautiful child commits suicide due to bullying at public school

For a couple of years now, I couldn’t say adequately in words how aggravated I was to hear people ask me if my kids are being “socialized” now that they’re home schooled.

First of all, it’s a “none of your [expletive] business” kind of question.

Second of all, this:


Kids had bullied Ashlynn for years, calling her a “slut,” “fat,” and “ugly,” so that day’s incident seemed relatively minor to Stacy: The girls had poked fun at Ashlynn’s initials, “A.C.,” saying it sounded like “air conditioner.”

Three different teachers at the school had told Ashlynn to “stop tattling” after she reached out for help, the girl told her mother. It was the Thursday before Veterans Day, and Stacy told Ashlynn she should go straight to the principal the following Monday if the bullying continued.

“But she didn’t want to wait until Monday,” Stacy told The Daily.

Ashlynn’s older sister found her hanging by her neck from a scarf in a bedroom closet on Friday night. She was pronounced dead before 9 p.m. at a local hospital, another inconceivably young victim of elementary school bullying.

This is precisely why one of my kids is home schooled, and partially why the others followed. We were fortunate enough to have caught it early and nipped it in the bud. Other kids aren’t so fortunate.

Why? People I talk to about home school, and who insist on public school as the “best” option for every child, offer all kinds of excuses as to why they “can’t” or “couldn’t” or “won’t” remove their kids from public education. The excuses range from their almost cult-like dedication to their perception of the quality of the public school system vs. home schooling, to having both parents work to being a single parent and not being able to teach them at home.

Aren’t I downright mean for suggesting that dual income earners and single moms and dads figure out something–anything–else other than send their kids to a public school?

I don’t see it as being mean. I see it as being loyal to one’s children first and foremost, even in the face of reducing or eliminating one’s income to keep a child alive.

My heart really goes out to Mrs. Conner. I can’t imagine what she’s going through right now, so I hesitate to ask any question of where her mind and heart are now. I don’t claim to know either way, so I’m merely projecting my own feelings here. I just have to ask, because it’s important to be clear as to what is really going on in public schools. Let us see this tragedy in its true perspective.

How much would Stacy Conner sacrifice to have her daughter back?

How much is she regretting right now trying, as most of us do out of habit, by the way, to live by that old trope “better get used to it” (we call that one BGUTI for short at my house when the subject of injustice in public school comes up). I challenge anyone to attempt to tell any abuse victim “better get used to it”. Doesn’t work so well, right? Then why do we say that to our kids!? NOBODY should have to “get used” to abuse.

How much is she wondering if she had gone to the school officials earlier and confronted them, like a growling momma bear, whether things might have turned out differently?

But most of all, how much would she give up to have her daughter back?

I’d bet she’d give up everything to have her back. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.


8 thoughts on “Beautiful child commits suicide due to bullying at public school

  1. I am absolutely with you on this. You’re blessed because your country has home school, whereas my country doesn’t have it in the slightest – unless you’re super rich and famous. I am very overprotective with my kid because I was a bullied in grade school too. I dont want him to ever experience that, because he deserve a better childhood. Now, I am going to put more attention to my siblings. But kids here in Phil aren’t THAT awful to urge kids to commit suicide, compared to the US. But still, bullying is bullying. And it has to stop!

  2. This is also why I first pulled my children out of school. My son, who was 11 at the time was bullied regularly. When I spoke to the school about it, they said, “There’s nothing we can do, because he is just a target.” So, the fact that my son had learning disabilities, red hair, and glasses made it ok to be bullied. He began to hate school so much that at one time he told me, “I would rather die then go to school.” Good for you for doing what a parent should do and protect your child from the abuse in the public school system.

  3. All I can say is that I hate the very idea of suicide. I’m in the 9th grade, I too was bullied, in fact, I was the only person ever to be bullied. I tried to tell the teachers like you were supposed to, but they always said that they can’t do anything about it becuase it’s not their kid to control. I thought about suicide a couple of times, my own brother hates me. I didn’t know what to do, I thought about it, but I was always to scared, when I went on to middle school it only got worse. People called me gay, stole my stuff, and more. We were told if we were bullied to fill out a ” brown sheet ” and someone would read it and do something about it. By the end of the first month of school, I filled out about 50 sheets. They said to stop becuase they were still dealing with the first one, I told them it shouldn’t take a month to handle 1 problem. I dreaded middle school until the 8th grade. I fell in love and made great friends. I was still the subject to bullying, but my friends stood by to help. Another friend was about to commit suicide, but we stopped her. I never thought about suicide agian becuase I asked out the girl I feel for and she said yes. I’ve been having a great time sine then. Don’t get me wrong, I still think about the times where I almost ended i, but I found out with great friends and great determination, you can get past it.

    • Thank you for sharing your experience with bullying. As an adult, I can tell you that that won’t happen forever. And as you grow and mature physically and emotionally, you will develop a “thicker skin” to handle those so-called “adults” who will never grow up and stop treating people maliciously.

      Also, learn to forgive. It’s hard to believe it now, but I’m speaking from my own experience here that you will eventually become friends with the people who bullied you. Some will apologize directly, and some won’t (for whatever reason) but as people change, so do their desires to make things right and to associate with people they once made fun of. It’s kinda weird and unexpected, but true!

  4. I don’t know, I used to be suicidal, and it was home school that brought me there. In fact, I had told my mom that I would rather kill myself than see one more school bus that I’m not in.
    I got/still get very lonely when daily life is alone and isolated.

    I still often think about how miserable I was in home school, how much I regretted it. And I still hate every bit of it. I don’t think that home school should be banned or anything, in fact it’s a great way for kids to escape bullying and stay with people they love all day. But me, I didn’t flow like that.

    I believe that every child has a personal preference and that you should ask them frequently what they prefer. I still remember my first suicide attempt, which was the day my mom announced to me that I would be leaving the school and all my friends to be home schooled.

    I still don’t exactly understand what middle school or high-school is like. I’m not really sure if there’s bathroom breaks or do you just have to go during lunch or locker-break. Everything I know about middle school I learned from watching iCarly with my little cousin.

    It’s all about what the child wants and if they really want it or are just trying to please you, because that’s the biggest mistake I ever made personally.

    • Thanks for your comments, Eldre. Homeschool is not for everyone. I’m sorry your experience was so lonely. Success with homeschooling depends on a number of factors, including how many siblings are also homeschooled vs. public schooled. We have 4 homeschooled and one at public school. It just works better for the one who goes to public school because he has issues with parents also being teachers. He likes those roles separated. The others are quite the opposite. For us the isolation isn’t as bad because they have each other. We also make sure to include a number of opportunities where they can associate with others, through co-operative programs, youth groups, fitness centers, and a number of other activities.

      I hated middle school for the simple reason that I was a 5th grader thrown in with up to 8th graders. There is a HUGE difference in emotional and physical development between a 5th and an 8th grader that is a breeding ground for bullying, so much so that it seems abusive to allow them to mingle at those ages. We opted out of middle school for our oldest because the parents night intro was all about arbitrary rules and restrictions on bathroom breaks and not running out of your allotted quarterly bathroom passes or you’d have to “hold it”. Nothing at all about academics, which is what a school ought to be focused on.

      Now that he’s going to be high school aged, we’re opting out of that as well. He just has no desire to be thrown in with all the drama and social awkwardness and bullying that our local high school is infamous for.

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