What to tell grinch liberals who hate CHRISTmas

A friend of mine posted this inquiry to his Facebook status:

What’s with all these hippie liberal bedwetters that get offended over Christmas symbols?

I gave him my little bit of advice and thought my loyal readers would also find some use from it.

Just tell them the Christmas tree is meant to symbolize Gaia’s struggle for freedom from White Anglo-Saxon Protestant capitalists and that the decorations symbolize the commercialism that is killing mother earth.

Tell them the presents are all wrapped in recycled paper and contained in 100% recycled boxes.

Tell them the big fat guy in the red suit and beard is Harry Reid coming to give them free health care for life and that the reindeer are free-range, fed only the most organic tundra lichen, and that they have monthly veterinarian checkups.

Tell them the baby in the manger was really a Palestinian struggling against a global Jewish conspiracy (they actually believe that).

Do these things and they’ll get that glazed “follow the leader” look in their eyes and leave you alone from then on.

Merry Christmas, y’all.

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