I just discovered another service offered by the TSA! If your boss hands you a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift on your way out the door to catch your plane, when you arrive at “security”, the TSA will unwrap it and open it for you. For FREE!
As an added bonus, when they discover that it contains an expensive spa-quality brand of aromatic shaving cosmetics in an amount slightly exceeding 3 oz, they will recommend you go back to the ticket counter and check your bag under the plane. Again, for FREE.
But wait! There’s more!
Because of the TSA’s thoroughness in protecting you from islamofascist jihadists, who have apparently begun to set aside the Talibanic requirement to remain unshaven, you will miss the baggage check-in cutoff time by mere minutes.
The TSA is so confident you’ll love their protection services that you automatically get to experience it…you guessed it…AGAIN! That’s right. For FREE! And this time your bag will be just a bit lighter (a little over 3 oz to be exact) as you get to lug it up to the conveyor belt once again strip off your shoes, belt, watch, and phone.
Look, I get that there are bad people who want to kill Americans. That’s not in dispute. What I don’t get is why we trade in effective security for politically correct security. Do we not know the enemy by now? Do we not have sufficient technology and common sense to detect the difference between bona fide shaving acoutrements and liquid explosives? Have we really met our security goals when we command little old ladies with water bottles to discard them prior to being cleared for takeoff? How much security is unknowingly compromised because of our irrational need to treat everyone on earth as a potential threat?
Don’t get the wrong idea here. My in-flight safety is more important to me than really nice, expensive shaving cream I got from my boss for Christmas. It was the thought that counted. And, I’m certainly not complaining about people just following orders and doing their jobs by the book. I’m simply pointing out that security without a certain amount of leeway for the application of common sense, so that we can focus on ferreting out REAL threats, is no security at all.
My opinion on the matter of airport security. Also free of charge.